Helping a loved one facing death…

When a loved one (or indeed any person you may come across) is facing death it is difficult for all concerned. However, in order to help that loved one, it is necessary to lay one’s own feelings aside.

Put oneself in the place of that loved one to gain even a small understanding of their position and the thoughts that may be in their mind.

First and foremost the loved one facing death, is fearful of what they are leaving behind and also of what may lay ahead. If a life partner or guardian, then this fear is increased several fold, as the loved one is concerned for the ongoing welfare of those to be left behind and the impact that will result from their passing.

This then is the starting point, whereby effort must be directed into providing reassurance for the loved one that all will be well both in their transition and for those left behind.

In the hope that this helps the reader, I reproduce below the nature of the discussion (one way only unfortunately) that I held with my own father just 9 hours before his passing from lung cancer…

Hi Dad.
While we are quiet I would just like to let you know that everything is fine as far as sorting matters out.
We know you have to leave us dad and I just want to say that you needn’t worry. We have been putting all the necessary arrangements in place. So its ok dad to go your way whenever you feel ready.
You can’t fight the inevitable dad, so just relax and let your mind be at peace. I know what has to be done and don’t worry I will look after mam and we can sort the bills. Everything will run smoothly dad.

Being a medium I was also able to give my father some additional reassurance, which one could also give from my own lesson…

Relax and be calm dad. When the time is right you will see Nana and Grandad and Mark. [One would swap this for their own close family member(s)].
They will guide you through a tunnel of bright light, with colours all around it, do not be frightened but relax.
You will be led home dad. You will feel weightless and light and it will feel strange but don’t worry all will be well. Just trust in the feelings of love being projected towards you.
I love you dad (I kissed dad’s forehead). I have prepared myself for your departure, as we all have, so fear not dad. We will always love you.

I also explained to Dad that we would meet again and he could talk to me when alI was still and I would hear him.

When my father first became ill I made him an Angel card and inside I created the following verse. Again, this may be useful for someone wishing to express his or her own feelings of love towards a father…

Dear Dad
I cannot say in words or pictures
 That which I feel in my heart
You know I love you always
When we are near or apart
You’ve been there to inspire me
And guide me through my day,
Know I’m proud to be your son
 In each and every way
Although at times words may fail me
As your illness makes me sad
I need to simply say to you
Thanks for being my DAD.
God Bless.
The above is also reproduced in poetry corner
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